perspective

Jan

2024

I am happy you were here.

“I’m not very happy that you’re leaving.”

My 4 year old nephew said that to me as we walked to my car after a weekend together.

“I”m not very happy about it either,” I told him.

How I love the way children say the things we’re all feeling.

The things that maybe should be said a little more often.

As I drove back home, I smiled at all the fun we’d had together.

Playing toys.

Reading stories.

Giggling.

Holding hands.

Being together.

Even thought I had to leave, my heart left fuller than when it came.

Isn’t that something?

Whoever you’re missing today (I think we are all missing someone),

maybe take a minute to appreciate having had something that is now worth missing.

Smile at the memories.

Love the time you had together, even if it was too short.

Acknowledge the ways you changed for the better just for knowing them.

Because even though you had to part ways, maybe you can look back and say, “I am sad you left…

but I am happy you were here.”

Oct

2023

Oh well. Maybe next time.

As a kindergarten teacher, I disappoint 5 and 6 year olds on a daily basis.

Listen, I don’t mean to. It just happens.

If you are a teacher or a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

This student wanted the red marker instead of green.

That student wanted 5 more minutes of recess.

Another wanted to sit by Suzie instead of Tommy.

One wanted more goldfish.

On and on, it goes.

Some handle their disappointments gracefully.

Others not so much.

Cue the complaining, the waterworks, the meltdown.

In the midst of a child’s big reactions, you might think,

“All this because of (insert tiny problem).”

But in their world of toys, naps, and snacks…

marker colors and who they get to sit by maybe are their big things.

Those should be their big things.

But of course, we still teach them ways to better handle their disappointments.

“Oh well. Maybe next time” and “We don’t always get what we want,

we get what we need” are two of our classroom mantras this year.

But how good am I at applying these to my own life?

Do I handle my disappointments with grace?

Sometimes.

But other times… just cue the complaining, tears, and meltdown.

Honestly, what a perspective shift it would be to apply versions

of those kindergarten phrases to my own life.

I didn’t get the job I worked hard for and wanted so badly?

“Oh well. Maybe God knew I wasn’t ready yet.”

Sickness ruined my long awaited plans?

“Oh well. Maybe I’m being protected from something I don’t know about.”

Someone walked away from a friendship or relationship?

“God doesn’t always give me what I want,

but He provides for my needs in ways greater than I can imagine.”

A door closed I desperately want to reopen?

“That door will reopen, but only if what’s behind it is meant for me.”

So. Much. Easier. Said. Than. Done.

We can say the phrases all we want,

but to accept them in our hearts is a different story.

I know.

But maybe it gives us a starting place.

Maybe it lessens the complaining. Maybe it slows down the tears.

Maybe it shortens the meltdown.

And if not today…

Oh well. Maybe next time.

Sep

2023

That day we laughed instead.

You know those moments when your kids or maybe your students do something they’re not supposed to…

but it’s really funny?

And keeping a straight face takes every ounce of self control you have?

Well as a teacher, I’ve gotten better at keeping that straight face when necessary.

But that day I failed.

Listen, it was just too good.

It involved rocks and pants,

and I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

But a questionable choice by one student put another student in a predicament

that required my help to get out of and, let’s just say,

it wasn’t going well.

In the midst of the struggle, one student let out a giggle.

And then I was done for.

I started laughing before I could stop myself.

And when I started laughing, the whole class joined in.

We just laughed.

Was it something I should’ve been laughing about? Maybe not.

But it was good for my heart.

And maybe it was good for their hearts, too.

Of course, we want to teach our kids right from wrong.

We want them to learn how to make good choices.

But don’t we also want them to learn how to find joy in life?

To smile?

To release the pressures of life?

To know what it is to be happy?

I don’t want to forget that.

So maybe, even if just for a moment, it’s ok that we don’t take ourselves too seriously.

Maybe it’s ok that we laugh instead.

Aug

2023

Overwhelmed in the best way

Do you ever have days where you feel overwhelmed?

But like in a good way?

Unexpected blessings just keep coming to the point where you feel overwhelmed by them.

Maybe even to the point of becoming emotional.

I had one of those days recently.

It wasn’t anything major.

Nothing life-changing or earth-shattering.

But it was so many “little” things.

Little things that somehow filled up so much room in my heart.

The local grocery store setting aside something for me to use in my classroom.

A handmade card from a student,

complete with purple dinosaurs.

Coworkers checking in to see if I needed anything,

asking how the day went.

Messages that encouraged me in unexpected ways.

Running into a first grader on my walk

and getting to hear about her first day of school while we walked together.

The list goes on.

Maybe your day wasn’t perfect.

Maybe it was average or even less than.

But I encourage you today to look back on those little moments that made you smile.

The moments where you felt unexpected joy.

Collect them in your heart,

and keep them there awhile.

Let them overwhelm you in the best way possible.

Jul

2023

I’ve Lost Count

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve prayed the same prayer.

Dear God,

If it’s your will, please let circumstances change.

If it’s not your will, help me to find peace and acceptance.

I have whispered it as I’ve begun my day.

It has come out in sobs during the night.

I’ve prayed it on repeat through the day.

The words vary, but the request is always the same.

Again, and again.

Your will, Lord.

Help me to know it and to want it.

On the days when this prayer has come out seemingly with every breath,

I wonder if God ever thinks,

“Enough, child. I heard you the first time.”

Maybe.

Or maybe He listens just as intently the one hundredth time as He did the first.

What prayer has been on your heart lately?

If you wonder if you’ve exhausted your request,

take a minute to read these verses.

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

-Psalm 116:1-2

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.”

-Philippians 4:6

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

-Romans 12:12

Notice that His word doesn’t say we are only allowed one prayer.

It doesn’t tell us to get a grip or to leave God alone already.

The words I see are actually quite the opposite.

And they are powerful.

We are called to bring our requests to Him…

As long as we live.

Continually.

In every situation.

Faithfully.

We are called to pray without ceasing.

God may change our circumstances.

Or He may change our hearts.

Either way, let’s take our requests to Him.

Even if we’ve lost count.

Jul

2023

It Happens Sometimes

It happens sometimes?

I had a student one year who would say that to me.

She would say it if she made a mistake on her work.

If a friend did something they weren’t supposed to.

It happens sometimes?

Always said as a question, never as a statement.

A question that would be repeated if left unanswered.

A question that required me to stop in that moment and remember grace.

Yes, I would answer. It happens sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes.

What matters is that we try our best.

Or sometimes it was more like…

Yes, it happens. But now that it has happened, let’s do better next time.

How many times in life have I needed to remind myself of this.

That I am only human and it happens.

How could I have done that?

Why did I say those awful things?

How could I let that person down?

Why did I handle the situation like that?

How did I mess up something so important?

Friends, it happens.

That’s not an excuse and I know it doesn’t fix everything.

But it happens because we are only human and far from perfect.

What’s amazing is that we serve a perfect God.

A perfect God full of grace.

Rather than getting the punishment we deserve for our mistakes and sins,

the punishment has been taken for us.

God sent His one and only son to die on the cross for our sins.

And whoever believes will spend forever with Him in heaven.

Have you ever heard of such a selfless sacrifice?

All for you.

And for me.

Yes, we mess up. We make mistakes.

Time and time again, it happens.

But thank you, Jesus, for the grace I don’t deserve and could never earn.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

-John 3:16

Jul

2023

Today Her Mind is Consumed

Today her mind is consumed.

She is sitting in a room full of people,

but her mind is somewhere else.

She knows someone asked her a question,

but she was too distracted to hear it.

She wants to smile,

but it suddenly feels unnatural.

Everyone else is laughing,

why can’t she feel their joy?

Someone asks how she is doing.

She hopes they don’t notice her swallow the lump in her throat before she answers.

Is your mind consumed today?

Maybe you made a mistake you don’t know how to forgive yourself for.

Maybe you are missing someone so much it takes over every thought.

Maybe someone you love is in pain,

and there is nothing you can do.

Maybe you have a decision to make that will affect the rest of your life.

Of course it has taken over your mind.

It’s important, and you care so much.

Just please don’t let it stay there.

At some point, decide that enough is enough.

Say a prayer for courage.

And then set free the thoughts filling your mind by saying the things that need said

and doing the things that need done.

And then let it go.

There is something so freeing about doing everything you can, and then releasing it.

Knowing there is nothing else you can do except pray and trust.

Of course, it will revisit at times.

And of course, it still matters to you.

But it will not consume you today.

Today you have made room in your mind and your heart for more.

More memories.

More people.

More ways to serve.

More ways to show love.

More ways to feel joy.

Today you have made room for the present.

Jun

2023

It was Draining

For awhile, I tried to keep up with everyone.

I made sure I got invited to all the important events by all the right people.

I only hung out with people who had the right status.

Laughed at all of the jokes at other people’s expense.

Walked into places with groups acting like we owned the place.

Pretended to have fun.

But secretly thinking about all of the things I would rather be doing.

The people I would rather be with.

It was draining.

Maybe you have never felt that way before.

Maybe you enjoy keeping up with everyone.

You might even be the one everyone else is trying to keep up with.

That’s ok too. That is completely fine.

But maybe you’re like me.

Maybe you want something different.

Maybe instead of partying,

you want to watch the sunset and go stargazing.

Instead of being invited to all the right events,

you want to go to Friday night football games and town celebrations.

Instead of hanging out with people who help your social status,

you want to spend time with people you don’t have to try with.

Rather than making crude jokes about other people,

you want to be with people who make you genuinely laugh.

Maybe you want to talk about joys, struggles, life.

Go ahead.

You don’t need my permission, but I’m giving it to you anyway.

Find people who are looking for the same thing (I promise you, they are out there),

and make it happen.

Plan a road trip.

Set up a card night.

Find a new recipe to cook together.

Go to all the town events.

Have a bonfire.

Go stargazing.

Talk about something deeper.

Stop draining yourself by trying to keep up with everyone else.

Instead, let people in who will fill you up.

Jun

2023

Yesterday Got the Best of Her

Yesterday got the best of her.

She thought she knew patience,

but the smallest inconvenience made her snap.

She thought she was kind,

but hurtful words came out of her mouth.

She thought she had put it behind her for the last time,

but she fell back into it.

She thought she had healed,

but one mention of it brought instant tears.

She thought she was smart,

but she didn’t have any of the answers.

She thought she had confidence,

but one comment brought out all her insecurity.

She thought she was strong,

but fell apart when given one extra thing to carry.

She thought she was reliable,

but she let everyone down.

Yesterday.

Maybe you have had a yesterday like that.

A day that got the best of you.

A day that brought out the worst in you.

Maybe a day you wish you could do over.

Or a day you wish had never happened in the first place.

If that was your yesterday, please know it does not define you.

One day does not define your kindness, your strength, or your abilities.

You are a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Any good in us comes from Him.

Let that be what defines you on the good days.

And let that be what defines you on the bad days.

Let that be what defines you today and tomorrow.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

-Psalms 139:14

Jun

2023

Slow Down: Love Where You Are Right Now

Slow down.

Love where you are right now.

I know.

I know you have things to get done.

Deadlines to meet.

Timelines to beat.

Believe me, I know.

Suddenly things are happening for everyone else around you.

Engagement announcements, wedding invites, gender reveals, the list goes on.

I know you are happy for your friends.

I know you are cheering them on and celebrating each joy with them.

Of course you are, you want the world for them.

But I also know that in the midst of their life events, you see yourself standing still.

“Are you married?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“How old are you?”

“When are you going to have kids?”

You know the questions.

Well intentioned questions from wonderful people who care about you.

Yet questions that create an ever present checklist in your mind.

Do you have all of the boxes checked?

I know I don’t.

__ Husband

__ Kids

__ Dream house

__ Dream job

__ Etc.

Slow down.

Please, slow down and listen to these truths.

If you are 30 and not married with a family,

that is ok.

If you are 40 living in an old house with a leaky roof, that is ok.

Maybe you are 50 and still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up.

That is ok.

Love where you are right now.

Get married and have a family when you find your forever person.

Not when you feel the clock ticking.

In the meantime, go on adventures.

Try new things.

Better yourself.

Make your house a dream home by inviting others in

and filling it now with love and laughter.

Think about the God given gifts you have today

and use them to serve the people around you.

Make your life one that you love right now.

And anything else that gets checked off your list will simply be an added blessing.

Life is not a race.

It is not a set of deadlines.

Slow down, and love where you are right now.